Missing a Grandpa

I dont even know where to start with this. I miss one of my grandpas. He was a grandpa by marriage from my dads second wife, and when they first got divorced i did my own thing in my own little world and a few months later started missing him. I keep a picture of him with me and think about him often, but it has been 3 years since i have seen him or anything. Everytime i drive down Charleston i look to see where his office was only to find it isn't really there anymore, at least i dont think it is. Well, she posted pictures the past few days and he is in some. It makes me miss him even more. I miss Grandma too, but its not the same.

Why, you ask haven't i done anything about this? Well despite my own wants and needs it isn't a good idea. Wife #2 everytime we come in contact thinks i have some hidden agenda or am working for my dad to spy on her or something. Contacting her family would be like opening a can of something that could hurt me, as it always does. It's not that they would react awful about it, its that SHE would. Like i said she thinks i have some sort of hidden agenda.

I don't want contact with her anymore. I don't want people to keep saying "Aren't you ______ daughter?" No. I may have been at one point, but not anymore. She was a good mom to me at times and we had some good times together. But that time is over now. She has changed and so have i. She served a purpose in my life, and i turned out someone i enjoying being. I'm more like her than i thought which is weird to think, there is so much about her that i'm not a fan of, but really truly believe we are not the same person. She uses her abilities different than i do and that is what makes us different from eachother.

I'm not about to walk into the lions den for my own wants and desires to be connected with Grandpa P. Its practically suicidal and leads me in an emotional direction i don't want to be in anymore that only she can cause.

The many adventures of being laid off

well, i got laid off from my job on halloween. but have had an incredible time since, and David and i have gotten pretty close. We went to Orem last monday adn stayed with our friend John Laycock, and had a BLAST. Its good seeing friends that you dont get to see all the time. I hung out with Robi while David and John went to a Metallica show on Monday night then we all played together that night and on Tuesday. it was a nice little mini vaca. When we came back to Vegas that night it was back to business on Wed. i went and got a health card in child care and food handling, and picked up applications, on thursday got online and found some jobs and friday faxed my resume out to 8 different places and filed for unemployment. Saturday i got to work for celebrate kids for about 3 hours and that was about it.

Davids calling in the Young Mens is a new experience that we are both adjusting too, but we love it. We also love our little Family Home Evening group of couples. It makes my week at least. Since we've gotten married it seems my social life has dwindled so it is nice to know i will see people every Sunday or Monday.

I believe this is all that we have been up too lately.