I dont even know where to start with this. I miss one of my grandpas. He was a grandpa by marriage from my dads second wife, and when they first got divorced i did my own thing in my own little world and a few months later started missing him. I keep a picture of him with me and think about him often, but it has been 3 years since i have seen him or anything. Everytime i drive down Charleston i look to see where his office was only to find it isn't really there anymore, at least i dont think it is. Well, she posted pictures the past few days and he is in some. It makes me miss him even more. I miss Grandma too, but its not the same.
Why, you ask haven't i done anything about this? Well despite my own wants and needs it isn't a good idea. Wife #2 everytime we come in contact thinks i have some hidden agenda or am working for my dad to spy on her or something. Contacting her family would be like opening a can of something that could hurt me, as it always does. It's not that they would react awful about it, its that SHE would. Like i said she thinks i have some sort of hidden agenda.
I don't want contact with her anymore. I don't want people to keep saying "Aren't you ______ daughter?" No. I may have been at one point, but not anymore. She was a good mom to me at times and we had some good times together. But that time is over now. She has changed and so have i. She served a purpose in my life, and i turned out someone i enjoying being. I'm more like her than i thought which is weird to think, there is so much about her that i'm not a fan of, but really truly believe we are not the same person. She uses her abilities different than i do and that is what makes us different from eachother.
I'm not about to walk into the lions den for my own wants and desires to be connected with Grandpa P. Its practically suicidal and leads me in an emotional direction i don't want to be in anymore that only she can cause.
2 comments:
Oh Brit, my heart goes out to you. I often wonder how he's doing as well. Although he was never technically a "grandpa" to me, I did come to realize that he filled a void that I had in not having any living grandpas. Maybe you should just give him a call. That way you have to worry about seeing her. Maybe, it might help assuage that need to see him.
I totally agree with Angelica. He was my seminary teacher and my first Bishop when I moved to the valley. I think having a connection with him would help so much. I know my situation is quite different than yours but I gained a lot of loved ones on my 'life journey' and found they play such an important roll. When you love someone it is sooo hard to let go! Maybe even just send them a card and let them know you loved them. I am sure they would be so tickled
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