The panic, or fear, or anxiety or whatever it is set in last night. I pretty much hate it. I didn't think it was going to happen. I have been SO incredibly calm through this, more calm than i thought i was going to be actually. I kinda broke down yesterday over everything. It lasted like 4 minutes while i was at work and then the water stopped and that was all....until i was heading to the chapel to meet with the Bishop for my recommend. I was all quiet, which for interview isn't normal for me, and kept thinking that right then and there he was going to tell me no now that the invites are out, we are two and a half weeks away and everything is set in motion.
I'm pretty sure that it isn't the getting married fact. I know i am supposed to marry David, no doubt about that. But i have had a few dreams lately and still can't shake the idea that even though i have both recommends and the marriage license and all the other requirements that i am going to get to the front desk and be denied. Like, "Sorry, it was a cruel joke, your recommend isn't actually valid, come back in a few months" or something. I mean i go through the temple next Saturday for heavens sake! This kinda stuff can't be happening! If i am going to bee feeling like this for the next 2 1/2 weeks til we get married it is going to be VERY long.
As for other business...the fine tuning of things is going well. David and i finished covering the bases of our trees all pretty last night so they don't look like plaster in a bucket. We've had our license for ages, we both should have our recommends by next week, friends and family from Canada start coming in next Friday, our beastly project of our music is finally polished and complete after two weeks, I get my hair colored today and test out sweet styles, AND i'm crossing my fingers my dress comes in this week since we are supposed to be taking pictures this weekend in Utah. Thats the wedding stuff, then tomorrow we are going to see Carolina Liar and the Ataris AND Breaking dawn comes out this weekend :)
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